June 08, 2013

A Big Girl Job

All children grow up but one. Peter Pan has sewn it back.*

They say growing up is optional. I say, Peter Pan is my childhood hero so you go figure.

When I think about matters involving growing up, chasing dreams, getting a life, I think of Jenna Rink, that girl from the movie 13 Going on 30. (Hiii Isparkleen slash MM!) I think of her as a big girl and her job is definitely a big girl job, if not theI have had two big girl jobs since I graduated last 2007. Both of them related to my field of expertise, as far as my diploma and professional license are concerned. It has been, and still is, my life's greatest blessing to be able to be in a job that makes you feel superwoman-like, that you are saving the world, one patient at a time. So it should be fine right? I should be fine with it. But then I'm not. Or maybe not anymore. Or at least not for now. But the thing is I'm currently not, period.

This is probably quarter life crisis talking. I have been speaking to some friends lately and we all seem to gravitate towards this uncertain feeling about how we'll go about the rest of our twenty-something years. Unsettling. Baffling. Intimidating. Definitely quarter life crisis, that beetch. 

I do ask myself every waking morning if I love my job. Having heard people say endlessly and repeatedly how you should be doing something you actually love - a)  so you'll never have to work a day in your life, b) because life is short, c) you only live once. And while I do, I am not one of them. I am one of those who believes your work shouldn't define you nor the letters that come after your name should confine you into a certain boundary. I am one of those who's excited to get out of the big girl job when the clock strikes game over for the day. And just because I am such doesn't mean I don't love my job or like it any less. It's just that I have other things to do outside of it that I happen to love too. I will never ever run out of reasons why I'm not an overworker slash overtimer. There's always a blog to update, pictures to edit, TV series to watch, movies to see, basketball games to indulge, and people to stalk. Yes, the list goes on.

Growing up is optional. Somewhere along my life, I made it to the big girl world. A few straight ahead, turn left, dead ends, road blocks and u-turns after, I've ended up in Grown-up Ville after all.

One thing I am certain though. Whenever I look at the mirror in the morning or carefully drift into a sweet slumber each night, I see a little girl smiling, still waiting for the little girl job to happen. What? You can't blame her. We all have our little girl inside of us, with our own little girl dreams and we will always be silly enough to believe in it, we will always be too young to give up on it. Those little girl jobs can be anything. Being a model. Being a make-up artist. Or maybe a photographer? A pastry chef, a bartender or a painter. And even if you feel it's not yet time for these little girl jobs to happen, hold them dear to your heart. If something bigger is blocking the way for now, it's fine as long as you never let them go. Believe they can happen. It can happen. And you will make it happen.

The trick is to never ever grow up - it's a trap.

All you need is faith, trust and a little bit of pixie dust.*

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