June 07, 2013

#TaylorTherapy


I don't like it when I can associate my feelings to a Taylor Swift song. I like her, I love her actually. But I also feel like the weight of my situation is magnified and the feels are maximized in so many levels when it's reflected in any of her song. And it happens almost every time. Like every frackin' word per stanza. Are you like stalking me, woman?

You can either blame my hormones or the swell road trip I have had over the weekend, got so much time and too many TaySwift songs on my makeshift mixtape, that I have deciphered the lyrics to her songs down to the core. Somebody say overthinking. This will be the second Swift song I'll be sharing for the day, the first one is I Almost Do, I posted over my Facebook page and I felt like sharing two Taylor songs in a day is too much for my Facebook friends' newsfeed to handle so I decided to put the other one here. Somebody say oversharing

But something happened over the weekend. Long time coming if you ask me, bit unnecessary already but I needed it, I wanted it. For so many months now, I have been waiting for this moment to finally take its place and I've been begging for anyone or anything - just make it happen already! I've never been the one to talk about things in my life I hold so close to my heart - people, memories, words alike. Not that I don't want to share it, I just don't want to diffuse it. Somehow, I feel like the more I pass it on, the more I speak of it, the less hold I have of it, the less impact it will have on me. So I'd know the overstep every single time is when I start talking about it, endlessly, recklessly to just about anybody. And the overstep took place over the weekend.

A closure, not a prelude to an ending, or an unending. A closure.

That morning when I woke and finally knew something I didn't the night before. Those eyes, freckles and smiles making me feel like I just want to know you better. That time when all you did is say hello and all I know is a simple name. Those butterflies taking flight, making up for lost time making me feel like I just want to know you better.

All too familiar feelings, do you reckon? I love being reminded of you the most when I'm listening to this song. It feels appropriate, it brings hope, it offers a saving grace. Maybe because it brings me back to the pre- era when all things are pretty and shiny and just about to get better rather than the post-. I actually have no idea but what I do know is that I will always want to be reminded of you during those pre-times - all of the the raw emotions, sincere gestures, shy smiles, awkward chances and comfortable silences we managed to share before everything has changed for the both of us

I just want to know you better.
And then I did.
And now I wish I hadn't.
And this is how it ends.

All I know since yesterday is everything has changed.
Since 365 yesterdays ago. Goodbye, have a nice life.

Yeah. Taylor Swift - 2 : Joys Camille -0.
xxx,
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