June 23, 2013

TBD: Pangasinan 2o13 Photo Diary

TGTC @ The Hundred Islands of the Philippines 
Alaminos, Pangasinan (May, 2o13)

Went basking under the northern sun. Jumped off a cave. Bonded with the taklobos, aka giant clams. Built a sandcastle. Revamped my weekend playlist. Reunited with the Dearest Ates ever. Found my clarity within the weekend blur.

Sometimes, you just gotta do what you gotta do and you gotta love what's good for you.

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June 08, 2013

A Big Girl Job

All children grow up but one. Peter Pan has sewn it back.*

They say growing up is optional. I say, Peter Pan is my childhood hero so you go figure.

When I think about matters involving growing up, chasing dreams, getting a life, I think of Jenna Rink, that girl from the movie 13 Going on 30. (Hiii Isparkleen slash MM!) I think of her as a big girl and her job is definitely a big girl job, if not theI have had two big girl jobs since I graduated last 2007. Both of them related to my field of expertise, as far as my diploma and professional license are concerned. It has been, and still is, my life's greatest blessing to be able to be in a job that makes you feel superwoman-like, that you are saving the world, one patient at a time. So it should be fine right? I should be fine with it. But then I'm not. Or maybe not anymore. Or at least not for now. But the thing is I'm currently not, period.

This is probably quarter life crisis talking. I have been speaking to some friends lately and we all seem to gravitate towards this uncertain feeling about how we'll go about the rest of our twenty-something years. Unsettling. Baffling. Intimidating. Definitely quarter life crisis, that beetch. 

I do ask myself every waking morning if I love my job. Having heard people say endlessly and repeatedly how you should be doing something you actually love - a)  so you'll never have to work a day in your life, b) because life is short, c) you only live once. And while I do, I am not one of them. I am one of those who believes your work shouldn't define you nor the letters that come after your name should confine you into a certain boundary. I am one of those who's excited to get out of the big girl job when the clock strikes game over for the day. And just because I am such doesn't mean I don't love my job or like it any less. It's just that I have other things to do outside of it that I happen to love too. I will never ever run out of reasons why I'm not an overworker slash overtimer. There's always a blog to update, pictures to edit, TV series to watch, movies to see, basketball games to indulge, and people to stalk. Yes, the list goes on.

Growing up is optional. Somewhere along my life, I made it to the big girl world. A few straight ahead, turn left, dead ends, road blocks and u-turns after, I've ended up in Grown-up Ville after all.

One thing I am certain though. Whenever I look at the mirror in the morning or carefully drift into a sweet slumber each night, I see a little girl smiling, still waiting for the little girl job to happen. What? You can't blame her. We all have our little girl inside of us, with our own little girl dreams and we will always be silly enough to believe in it, we will always be too young to give up on it. Those little girl jobs can be anything. Being a model. Being a make-up artist. Or maybe a photographer? A pastry chef, a bartender or a painter. And even if you feel it's not yet time for these little girl jobs to happen, hold them dear to your heart. If something bigger is blocking the way for now, it's fine as long as you never let them go. Believe they can happen. It can happen. And you will make it happen.

The trick is to never ever grow up - it's a trap.

All you need is faith, trust and a little bit of pixie dust.*

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June 07, 2013


I don't like it when I can associate my feelings to a Taylor Swift song. I like her, I love her actually. But I also feel like the weight of my situation is magnified and the feels are maximized in so many levels when it's reflected in any of her song. And it happens almost every time. Like every frackin' word per stanza. Are you like stalking me, woman?

You can either blame my hormones or the swell road trip I have had over the weekend, got so much time and too many TaySwift songs on my makeshift mixtape, that I have deciphered the lyrics to her songs down to the core. Somebody say overthinking. This will be the second Swift song I'll be sharing for the day, the first one is I Almost Do, I posted over my Facebook page and I felt like sharing two Taylor songs in a day is too much for my Facebook friends' newsfeed to handle so I decided to put the other one here. Somebody say oversharing

But something happened over the weekend. Long time coming if you ask me, bit unnecessary already but I needed it, I wanted it. For so many months now, I have been waiting for this moment to finally take its place and I've been begging for anyone or anything - just make it happen already! I've never been the one to talk about things in my life I hold so close to my heart - people, memories, words alike. Not that I don't want to share it, I just don't want to diffuse it. Somehow, I feel like the more I pass it on, the more I speak of it, the less hold I have of it, the less impact it will have on me. So I'd know the overstep every single time is when I start talking about it, endlessly, recklessly to just about anybody. And the overstep took place over the weekend.

A closure, not a prelude to an ending, or an unending. A closure.

That morning when I woke and finally knew something I didn't the night before. Those eyes, freckles and smiles making me feel like I just want to know you better. That time when all you did is say hello and all I know is a simple name. Those butterflies taking flight, making up for lost time making me feel like I just want to know you better.

All too familiar feelings, do you reckon? I love being reminded of you the most when I'm listening to this song. It feels appropriate, it brings hope, it offers a saving grace. Maybe because it brings me back to the pre- era when all things are pretty and shiny and just about to get better rather than the post-. I actually have no idea but what I do know is that I will always want to be reminded of you during those pre-times - all of the the raw emotions, sincere gestures, shy smiles, awkward chances and comfortable silences we managed to share before everything has changed for the both of us

I just want to know you better.
And then I did.
And now I wish I hadn't.
And this is how it ends.

All I know since yesterday is everything has changed.
Since 365 yesterdays ago. Goodbye, have a nice life.

Yeah. Taylor Swift - 2 : Joys Camille -0.
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June 05, 2013

TDUG: Weekend Calling

 H&M mesh cover up & shorts // Rayban aviators
@ Hundred Islands, Alaminos, Pangasinan, Philippines

H&M asymmetric top // Keds sneakers
@ Calle Crisolog, Vigan, Ilocos Sur, Philippines

Let it be known that I haven't forgotten you guys, that was an uncalled hiatus but I felt like I needed a break from everything and yes I needed to experience my first (and last) taste of summer for this year! However quick it was, I am definitely recharged and ready to take on life head on! How appropriate since we've just started another month, the half-year mark!
I love outfit planning for holidays and weekend getaways, but I am so fickle-minded when it comes to it. As expected I ended up overpacking. 

On our first day, being the water babies that we are, we went island hopping, snorkeling, giant clam sighting, cave jumping and basically basking under the northern suns and seas. I can't begin to explain how liberating it feels to be one with the sea and its awesome creatures. It's my second time around to go snorkeling and island hopping but I can never ever get used to it. Just gets better every single time. I finally pulled out a pair of bikini and cover up and actually have a beach for a background! Of course it's likely me to wear black on the beach but I made sure to pop a bold summer color along! Orange you glad, bold enough for you?

The next day, we pushed further up north and walked around Vigan. In this weather, sweltering point - no kidding, I had to wear the least amount of clothing possible especially during the walk along Calle Crisologo. The northern sun's up with all its Vitamin D glory and it's safe to say I have had an overdose over the weekend but I'm not complaining! I wish I'd had a healthier tan though, I almost always end up getting a sunburn instead. It's probably the worst idea ever but I'd go for the sunshine rather than a rainshower anytime. We went on exploring the cultural heritage of the town and I am not kidding when I tell you, there's a lot to be known and discovered! I went for this cotton top from H&M which definitely served me well! The asymmetric cut exposing almost half of my upper body but still decent and stylish, even vintage enough to match the theme of the places we went to! And of course, the ever versatile, kicks for life, from Keds - comfort and style at its best!

Since I couldn't be bothered wearing any accessory of some sort, it's too hot to put anything on save for your clothes, I made sure my hair's dressed up for the occasion. This summertime's all about braids for me and I love it that people around me are kind enough to style my hair for me! Check out the hairstyles I've managed to pull off over the weekend - totally biased over the fishtail braids! Matches well with my ombre tips too! Obsessed! It's definitely a great way to finish off any summer look!

Have you had your taste of summer yet? I hope I have helped you with outfit inspirations in case you're off to your very own summer getaway in the coming weekends! I may try and whip up a post for The Backpack Diaries again and share with you all the awesome weekend/holiday I have had!

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